Oct 2024 – Present · 1 yr 5 mos

• Managing a team of 15 engineers who somehow still tolerate my 'visionary' leadership style (read: last-minute pivots and caffeine-fueled ideas).
• Turning order fulfillment into a game of chance, will you get what you ordered, Who knows?
• Managing onboarding, lifecycle and payouts for store staff with systems that make Excel cry but somehow still work.
• Keeping dark stores operational with a mix of blind optimism, duct tape, and sheer luck.

Apr 2024 – Sep 2024 · 5 mos

• Ensuring incorrect delivery routes, maximizing confusion by misguiding a team of 6.
• Providing wrong address data, adding an element of surprise to every delivery.
• Implementing inaccurate DE movement tracking, keeping everyone guessing.
• Guaranting wrong weather predictions, making every day an adventure.

Oct 2023 – Apr 2024 · 6 mos

• Led a team of 3 in a masterclass of mismanagement.
• Ensured incorrect delivery routes, maintaining our reputation for unpredictability.
• Perfected wrong weather predictions, never letting you leave home prepared.

Apr 2022 – Sep 2023 · 1 yr 5 mos

• - Made bad time promises, consistently missing every deadline.

Oct 2020 – Mar 2022 · 1 yr 5 mos

• - Made your favourite restaurant unserviceable with innovative coding blunders.

Jun 2019 – Sep 2020 · 1 yr 3 mos

• - Guided delivery partners with the worst possible advice.

Jan 2019 – Jun 2019 · 5 mos

• Responsible for incorrect addresses, ensuring deliveries were always a guessing game.
• Gained hands-on experience in turning simple tasks into complicated nightmares.